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BORP revolution ride | ride recap

Last month my buddy John and I rode 45 miles through north Sonoma County to support Bay Area Outreach & Recreation Program (BORP)’s Revolution Ride to fundraise for their programs that support physically disabled people like me.

Right now sudden fires, flamed by high winds have burned a lot of the terrain and scores of homes and wineries and more. It’s really hard to comprehend how these fires have changed / are changing the land and lives there.

But many of us on this ride know just how fast life can change and how to value what’s really important. If you are alive and have loved ones around you, the stuff – though tough to lose – is inconsequential.

more about BORP

One of the amazing non-profit groups that were there to support me was BORP in Berkeley. I was able to ride their handcycle before I had my own to train for my triathlons. I met people just like me and had been riding for years. They even brought their handcycle to the Oakland Triathlon so I could race on it.

Now in 2017 I’m riding in the BORP Revolution Ride on my handcycle to fundraise and support BORP to help even more challenged athletes like me.

Check them out at borp.org

malibu triathlon | race recap

In The Beginning

In 2011 I decided I wanted to do the Malibu Triathlon. I have zero recollection why.

I was never a swimmer. Never a cyclist. And never a runner. Although, I had been doing a spin class for a number of years before it was so cool and soulful. And I was getting better running 3 or so miles without stopping … on a treadmill.

I went to Pepperdine University so I have a special connection to Malibu because I lived there for some pretty formative years. Pepperdine was really special to me because I applied just to see if I could get in. I never thought I’d go. My family certainly didn’t have the money and Pepperdine was way out of my league.

But I applied anyway and I got in! A very long story short, I was offered a huge financial aid package that put it in reach and my family, karate school and other friends made it possible. I graduated and became the first in my family to graduate college.

It was the first time I learned that if I work hard and get resourceful, I can make things happen. I often say I was dumb enough to believe my Grandma when she said, ‘If you put your mind to it and work hard, you can do whatever you want.’

So maybe I just felt like the Malibu Triathlon was a good excuse to go have a Homecoming, get fit, and add something big to my accomplishments. And, chase JLo and Terri Hatcher around Malibu for a day.

2017 Race Recap

This year has been a bit frustrating because I’ve been dealing with pressure wounds on my outside ankles bones from last year’s triathlon season. Pressure sores are a common occurrence for paraplegics (and quadriplegics) because of the lack of feeling, circulation, muscle mass, and functional use of the lower body. They also don’t heal very fast for those very reasons.

My ankle wounds took 8+ months to heal, involving weekly visits to a wound clinic (whose title also included ‘Amputation Prevention’) for treatment and a Koban wrap which is like a lame soft cast for compression. It helps circulation and prevents swelling in my legs as I’m constantly in a wheelchair. Not walking and using those muscles which in turns pumps blood against gravity has other effects like pooling blood in your feet. It’s like cankles, but not that funny.

All that told, it’s kept me out of the pool and off my racing chair that puts a lot of direct pressure on that area. So, I’ve been focusing all of time on my handcycle. As you’ve seen, I’ve been doing a LOT of cycling.

When it came to triathlons for the year, I still wanted to participate because honestly it is a little addicting. It also is a great excuse to get my best friend from college out from the East Coast and gather our other college friends together.

Another close friend, Aaron Jasper, is a fierce triathlete and casually puts up times I used to aspire to run. This year I talked him into doing a relay with me. He would swim, then I would bike, then he would run. He killed the swim in just over 10 minutes which meant I was on the road with pros, celebrities and other challenged athletes. I caught up to Zac Efron on the road while he had an issue, but later he passed me like it was nothing.

As opposed to the Escape From Alcatraz Triathlon’s 1,800+ ft of climbing, Malibu had 800 ft of climbing in 17 miles. Only doing the bike, I put the hand-crank(?) to the metal and averaged about 17mph versus 12mph last year.

Which really means when I wasn’t climbing I was doing around 20mph on the flats & 37mph downhill.

And THAT was fun.

So Nautica Malibu Triathlon #5 in books. #2 as a paratriathlete. First as a relay team.

Roxanne racing ready and sitting pretty

Early morning pit crew fail.

Ready to Rock

Coming in at the end.

James Marsden: X-Men, Hairspray, Westworld amongst my favorites of his.

My Tribe

We were fortunate enough to get a little reception together on Pepperdine’s campus and gathered friends, spouses, their kids, and even Hung Le whom Seaver College grads know well, AND Andy Benton who is the President of the University. While in school I took his business law class. Pepperdine is a special university where fostering relationships with students is possible and encouraged. My constant argument with Dr. Benton is when he says, ‘Call me Andy’ and I say, ‘No, Dr. Benton.’

I have to give a big shout to my crew there. You set the bar for what I deem high-quality people and I’m proud to call each and every one of you friends. Even those that couldn’t come, I love ya’ll dearly.

Pepperdine crew!

Mini-me’s all swarming

Duke’s Fish Tacos at the Bare Foot Bar

Dr. Andy Benton of Pepperdine University with Aaron and I.

#whywetri

One of the reasons I think ‘I tri’ is because it’s a challenge to prove to myself I can do it just because I decided. Before my spinal cord injury (SCI), triathlon was something I did to prove I could it. IT being open water swimming. IT being cycling outdoors. IT being running on top of all that. IT being the journey every year to do better than the last year. IT being consistent and committed to doing what it takes daily, weekly and monthly to accomplish a B.HAG > a Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

In 2015, for those that haven’t read, I took it up a few notches and had 5 triathlons on the calendar but crashed (resulting in my SCI) a week before the IRONMAN 70.3 Santa Cruz and about 3 weeks before what should have been my 4th Malibu Triathlon.

One of the things that I will always remember is my surgeon saying to me, ‘Your long-game work towards triathlon will benefit you on this long road to recovery.’ It gave me a perspective on what was to come:

After my first triathlon, I was super-motivated to do better the next year. So I started swimming in the open water of the San Francisco Bay at Aquatic Park right by Ghirardelli Square. There’s four buoys and a flag at the end that most people swim along the beach there. When I first got out there, I couldn’t swim to the first buoy and back. After a few more attempts I got to the next buoy. After awhile I could get to the flag at the end. Eventually over a few more weeks and months I got to the flag without stopping. Eventually I could swim the whole perimeter of aquatic park twice.

Over and over again in this recovery journey, I’ve had to have faith over what seems impossible. My first week in rehab, that challenge was sitting up with no back support. Another time is was transferring from my bed to my wheelchair. Yet another time was transferring from my wheelchair into my car. What was impossible yesterday, is routine today.

I didn’t become the best swimmer ever. I didn’t ‘win’ any triathlons. But I did better than I did yesterday. I did something I could be proud of.

I have to tell you, I often hear people tell me ‘they could never do a triathlon’ and I really want to call bullshit. So if you’ve ever said that to me, that’s what I’m telling you now. I have seen every gender, age, weight, body type, cancer-survivor, missing a leg, missing both legs, missing an arm, etc. cross an IRONMAN finish line. That’s a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.2 marathon run in one go.

I have yet to do that distance. But it’s on the menu.

Maybe triathlon is not your thing and you have no desire. That I can respect.

But what could be your thing and what might you have a desire to accomplish?

If you’re not doing it because you think it’s impossible; if you’re just telling yourself you have no desire because you think it’s impossible. Let me be the first to call bullshit. I invite you to be second.

There is a funny thing that happens for you when you do B.HAG things and prove to yourself you can; when you do it just because you decide.

9/5/2017 update | 2-year anniversary

It has been an incredibly busy summer to say the least.

Besides the in’s and out’s of taking care of myself and work and training for triathlons and doing triathlons and a birthday, I’ve had a few things going on and really didn’t have a plan to pause for this day until last night.

And I decided on a milkshake.

When I was first in the hospital at Marin General, I was asked what could people bring me?

I said, ‘A milkshake.’

And over the course of the next week I got 20+ milkshakes.

How did I know I was loved? Milkshakes. At one point I had to make a declaration to my friends and family: okay, no more milkshakes.

I won’t dive into the details of how I was on copious amounts of drugs including oxycotin and didn’t poop for the first two weeks I was in the hospital and the rush of dairy and sugar probably didn’t help. I won’t dive into details .. and maybe I just did. 💩

When I was going into spinal fusion surgery for what would be 10 hours, I had the whole medical team around me and they asked, ‘Any questions?’ I only had one: ‘How soon can I eat after?’ The answer was, ‘Immediately, but you probably won’t want to after being prone face down for so long.’ I thought, ‘You clearly don’t know me.’

When I woke up, I was hungry. I don’t remember how soon after I had a shake, but I’m pretty sure Amy Shaw & Neil Fraiser brought it to me and it was the BEST milkshake in history.

9/5/2017 Update

When I was in surgery and recovery, my friends wrote updates on my progress. As soon as I was able, I started writing regular updates myself. They’ve really fallen off since accomplishing the triathlon goal, and even prior they were more about triathlon training.

I know that some of you whom I communicate with less frequently are a little unclear on where I ‘stand’ physically at this point. So here’s a basic update:

I’ve regained feeling below where I was originally as a T8 complete – that’s the official classification meaning that I lose function and feeling below the nipple line, with no feeling or control below that. If I were classified ‘incomplete’ there’d be some sort of function or feeling below that T8 vertebrae.

Leaving rehab in December 2015 I was a T10 complete, so I regained feeling and function down to about the bottom of my rib cage.

Today I don’t know if my official classification would change, but I have a good amount of feeling down to my belly button. I have control of most of my abdominal wall in the front, but lose sensation at the bottom of my rib cage in the back. This level (T11) is the first vertebra that has screws securing my injured vertebra (L1).

Initial X-Ray

Spinal Fusion from Right Side

Spinal Fusion From the Back

The videos of me in the Exso Bionics and ReWalk exoskeletons are exciting, though they’re not meant to train me to walk again anytime soon. I have zero control of my legs at present. Walking in the exoskeletons are great for keeping the legs/bones strong, increasing blood flow, and helping with bowel and bladder movements.

My flavor of spinal cord injury comes with an insane amount of neuropathic pain. Basically I have a band of pain that starts at my spinal fusion and wraps around to my belly. Below that point I have leg pain that feels like my legs fell asleep but times that by 100. It can be debilitating at times – especially getting up out of bed in the morning when I’ve been sedentary for so long.

The maddening thing about neuropathic pain is that it’s not real. By that I mean, my legs don’t really hurt. The spinal cord damage I sustained is sending false signals to my brain. So it’s like the transmitter is broken, not the actual body part.

I had been taking Neurontin and a small amount of the infamous Oxycodone for the pain. But as expected, over time my body got used to the amount I was taking and requires more to give me relief.

I have zero desire to take more of either of these drugs. One of the ideas I was told by my physical therapists is that in some cases you find a new tolerance and your capacity for pain becomes a new baseline. I’ve been playing with this idea ever since. Basically the pain level that I couldn’t handle in the beginning – and would probably cripple the average person – could be my new norm.

I’m proud to report I haven’t been taking Oxycodone for nearly 10 weeks now. I still take the Neurontin, occasionally testing less amounts.

Some days, I succeed and remain productive throughout the day. Other days, I’m done by 3 pm and usually have to lay flat for an extended nap.

I’ve tried a few months of acupuncture, different high CBD medicinal marijuana varieties, along with many other suggestions. I continue to test different remedies. I’ve focused on CBD, but haven’t found the right mix or form for my body yet. I need something that alleviates pain, but doesn’t put me to bed.

There’s a lot of insights and updates – both big and small that I am furiously writing. Especially riding the hill I crashed on not once, but twice in the last month. Stay tuned, I have a steady stream of posts coming out in the coming weeks and months. I would love to know what you’re curious about. Let me know.

BTW: have a pain remedy or CBD recommendation? Leave it in the comments below. Interested in what will come out…

#youcreateyourlife

lucas valley road

Sept 5, 2015 I suffered a spinal cord injury after losing control of my bike on an Ironman training ride. I could see the hill I crashed on from my ICU bed the days following the crash. This August 5, 2017 I’m riding that same hill in the Marin 50k Half Century ride on my handcycle.

Why would I want to do that you might ask? Because nothing has power except that which you give it. This hill has nothing on me. It’s just a hill. #handcycle #wheelchairdontcare #beaboutit #♿️ #teamchubbydonut

escape from alcatraz 2017 | race report

One of the things on my bucket list in this new form is the Alcatraz swim.

That’s where they take you from San Francisco to Alcatraz Island in a perfectly good boat and you jump out and swim back to San Francisco. It’s about 1.5 miles and if you don’t swim just right against the current, you’ll be swept out towards the Golden Gate Bridge.

I swam Alcatraz in the annual Sharkfest swim before I was injured and indeed was swept out so far that an escort boat had to pick me up.

The problem is that I was a poor swimmer prior to my spinal cord injury (SCI) and I’m worse now. I haven’t been able to swim all year because of pressure wounds on my ankles that haven’t healed since September of last year.

So while those are taking forever to heal, I’m handcycling and doing triathlons as a relay.

I found my way into the Escape From Alcatraz Triathlon this year as part of a relay along with Alan Shanken who is a below the knee amputee and has done every leg of this triathlon a number of times. We were a part of the Challenged Athlete Foundation contingent that was there.

When I got there in the morning, I found out the swim had been cancelled for the first time in the 37-year history of the race. There was a small craft advisory and heavy wind conditions that they deemed unsafe. So things started out with a bit of drama as race officials and racers figured out how to proceed with just the 18-mile ride and 8-mile run.

I was the only handcycle there this year. I quickly understood why. With 1,600 feet of climbing in under 18 miles of riding, it’s a tough challenge. It’s not something you just go do in a handcycle. I was out there for just under 2 hours. Most people on regular bikes take just over an hour.

So having plenty of time for thoughts to run through my head, here’s some of the more interesting items:

Don’t Be Afraid To Fail

Alan, my aforementioned relay partner, constantly asked me if I was ready for this challenge and if I think I could do it. Like up until the night before. And it really didn’t get into my head … until the night before. But I knew a couple of things:

I had done 1,600 feet of climbing once before, except over 35 miles of riding. It was last December when I was in far less racing shape. I was going for 50 miles but my arms gave out and the support van for our ride had to come get me. Now, I was in better shape and I knew what I was in for because I had ridden the course many times before I my SCI.

During check-in, the race organizers all knew who I was, as the only hand-cyclist. Which kind of worried me because it is a very technical course with a dozen left turns and a dozen right turns, many at the bottom of fast hills. But it also gave me comfort in that the staff on the racecourse were aware and prepared for me.

My biggest fear really was time. The original cut-off for the bike was 10:30am. If you were still on the bike leg at that time, a sweeper van would pick you up and take you to transition to go on to the run. My math looked like this: I do 18 miles regularly and it takes me about 1:15 (1 hour & 15 minutes) with 500 feet of climbing. Throw in another 1,100 ft climb to add 30 more minutes. My goal then was to do the ride in 1:45 and that gave me a buffer of about 30 minutes if Alan came in from the swim around 8:30am.

Besides the fact the swim was cancelled and the cut-off was extended, I was not picked up by the sweeper van and came in at 1:57 versus my 1:45 goal.

#GRIND

The biggest difference between handcycle and regular cycling is that you can’t put out as much power with your upper-body as with your legs. I say upper-body because the primary muscles used in handcycling are chest and back. Arms play more of a secondary role, as opposed to what most assume.

That being said, climbing is twice as hard and monotonous because you go about twice as slow.

Becoming a cyclist in the San Francisco Bay Area, I learned to love climbing. Partly because you have little choice with all the hills here and partly because the view from the tops are amazing. Eventually you get good at it and learn the nuance of technique.

But long climbs on a handcycle take twice as much patience and fortitude. There were many times in this race my Garmin GPS computer stopped while I was climbing because it didn’t think I was moving. Which by the way adds the biggest insult to injury when EVERYBODY – even the chump racing this TRIATHLON on a tourist rental bike – is passing you.

What I knew I had to do was buckle down and GRIND it out. Get my gearing right and just keep pedaling.

It felt like this race was 75% climbing. That means spending 75% of the time under 8mph. Then when I hit 30mph+ on a downhill, the distance was covered quickly before I was on another freaking hill climb.

Towards the end, I’d just find a marker 25 ft up the hill – like a traffic cone – and just keeping stroking to that cone and then the next and the next.

Keep Pedaling

I knew one thing for damn sure. I couldn’t stop pedaling.

There’s one stretch racers know called Seal Rock Drive. After you’ve climbed the hill starting at Ocean Beach and passing Cliff House Restaurant, you get a short reprieve before turning right onto this insane short hill that at it’s worst is 17.1% incline.

At that point I was 12 miles into the race and was warding off cramps with nutrition. Going in, this was the part we all were most concerned with.

But I buckled in. It was tough as all hell. I picked a marker 5 feet in front of me to get to – that’s how micro my goals were at that point – and then the next and then the next.

I. Just. Could. Not. Stop. Pedaling.

But I really wanted to stop.

Two things lifted me:

The other racers screaming encouragement as they passed me.
Me screaming at the top of my lungs like a maniac weight lifter.

I knew I’d laugh at myself later, but in the moment I let it all loose and could hear my screaming echo off the homes lining the street.

Coaching Pays In Spades

Throughout the race I could hear my coach laying out specific strategy on how to race. I can’t say enough about getting coaching in life and especially in triathlon.

In the first triathlon I raced in after my SCI, my coach Neil Fraiser, rode with me and just coached me through. Approaching a long incline he said, “…now just hit your Granny gears and settle in to the slow pace and go. Don’t kill yourself trying to go fast up the hill.”

That reminder to be patient and settle into a steady pace without using up all my energy was the entire strategy for this race.

I knew how and when to shift into what gear to keep steady cadence and maintain momentum both into and out of inclines and descents.

I knew how and when to hydrate, how and when to take energy blocks and what kind of energy blocks so as to maintain my energy and not bonk or cramp.

All because of great coaching that taught me race strategy.

The Love

One of the things I appreciate most about triathlon is the community. Because we’re pretty high on endorphins all of the time, we tend to be pretty lovey dovey.

All along the route I heard encouragement from other racers: ‘Good job, mate.’ ‘Nice work.’ And my personal favorite: ‘Respect.’

It was really cool in this race to hear it in American, Australian, Castilian and many other accents.

When I had breath, I made sure to return the love.

I also have to add that it was a privilege to race with the paratriathlon elites. It’s a small community which is great to be a part of. In the paratriathlon category at EFAT was Jamie Brown, who coached me at the CAF paratriathlon camp in 2015 and is currently ranked #1 in the world in his division; Mark Barr and Mo Lahna, both Rio Olympians; Willie Stewart, a parathlete advocate and legend. Oh and of course, my relay partner Alan Shanken, who’s work in the Bay Area and beyond on behalf of Challenged Athlete Foundation is very well-known!

One Last Story I Find Funny .. Now

The race starts with a nice 1.8 mile flat along the Marina and Crissy Field. Out of the shoot I was cruising at 15 mph, but it slowly decreased as I approached the first hill. Part of that was a headwind we’re all familiar with and the other was just coming out a little too hard.

The return is on the same course and I came off the last hill and did a 25 mph sprint all the way to the finish. Part of that I attribute to all the people cheering during that whole stretch as far more people come to cheer later in the race.

The other part was that I was doing nearly 40 mph coming off that hill.

I probably could have been going faster except for the turn at the bottom of that hill.

Also, I can’t promise all my wheels were on the ground at all times.

click on any image for full screen gallery