rob balucas

Catalyst. Creative. Triathlete. Speaker. Cigar Aficionado. Amateur Behavioral Psychologist. Fresh Spring Roll Addict. Paraplegic at the moment.

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© Rob Balucas
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Times they are a changin’

change being thrust upon us is a funny thing.

It’s not so much the change being funny, but us being funny in how we react to change.

A spinal cord injury (SCI) brings this funny business into clear view in ways you wouldn’t have possibly dreamt. I was surprised by my attachments and the meaning I made up about why those things are important. It took some pretty funny catalysts for me to let go of these attachments and redefine the meaning I gave them.

In my journey, a great example of attachment and making up meaning is driving a car. I was given the basic information on how to get back on the road, driving as a paraplegic, while in rehab:

  1. Get instruction and sign-off from an accredited adaptive driving instructor
  2. a certified installer will install hand controls in your car.

The process is pretty straight forward.

but what I had made up in my mind was not so simple.

In my mind, if I gave in to driving with hand controls, then I was giving up on my focus and belief that I would walk again. And as any new SCI will tell you, the desire to walk again is very potent stuff.

But as human beings, we don’t always attach our desires and drive to the most logical and helpful things.

Sometimes, we need help unpacking our attachments – whether it be through peer counseling, professional counseling, or just sheer necessity of our circumstances.

This is a story of sheer necessity:

When I was released from rehab I moved in with my parents.

It was a shock for me, a very independent thirty-something-year-old, and it was a shock for them, as very content empty-nesters.

It didn’t take long for this living situation to break me of this meaning I had attached to driving. After six weeks of confinement to my parent’s house, I needed to get out and about at-will and ASAP.

A mentor of mine likes to say, ‘Guess what? You can walk, chew gum, and cry all at the same time.’

I decided I could still retain my desire, focus, and belief I’ll walk again; AND at the same time learn to drive with hand controls.

Once I made that simple but not-so-simple shift in mindset, I didn’t wait for the instruction, certification, and hand-control installation process. I bought some bolt-on controls on Amazon, got in a car with a friend, and drove to Starbucks. I didn’t even let not having my wallet stand in my way.

I have been on the road ever since. I’ve driven to San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, and Tucson multiple times by myself with no trepidation.

Eventually, I got the certification and had permanent, secure hand controls installed in my car.

fast forward to today and I have another attachment hiding in plain sight.

My social media profile picture.

Every few months, Facebook has been not so subtly reminding me that my profile might be old and not representative of me today.


Oh Facebook, how did you know?

You see, Mr. Zuckerberg et al., I’ve been holding on to that 5-year-old picture for very personal, measured, vain, irrational, and intentional reasons.

This picture was taken by a friend as I crossed the finish line at the 2015 Wildflower Triathlon. I was proud of that picture because of the accomplishment, but also because it was looking buff. I was getting into the best shape of my life and I was getting close to 40.

I decided that I was going to keep that picture as my social media profile as my last bit of resistance to the physical specimen that I am now, confined to a wheelchair.

I’ll give in to hand controls and I’ll give in to handcycling and racing wheelchairs. But no, Universe, I’m holding onto this profile picture as my last daily reminder as to what was and what I want my life to look like again.

But you know what, I’m ready to admit I’m being silly.

I’m just ready. I’ve actually been ready for awhile now. Ready to change my attachments and meaning I give to this wildly insignificant thing.

Times they are a changin’.

It might be a good time to assess your attachments and reassess the meaning given to them. What is holding you back in silly or maybe not-so-silly and significant ways?

#youcreateyourlife

Real Mothers of Triathlon

Meredith Kessler shares how we met 4 years ago while talking about her fundraiser event for the Challenged Athlete Foundation. She’s totally right – but I’m not going to lie, 7am PST swim time is an early call these days. I’ve been nursing a shoulder injury for the past 3 weeks, but I’m recovered and ready to get in the pool! Stay tuned:

Register here if you want to join!

Meredith Kessler is going to be 42 years old in June, but you can tell from this conversation that her love of triathlon, even after 69 Ironman finishes and 11 wins, burns brighter than ever. Her fundraiser for the Challenged Athletes Foundation is on Saturday May 9th with Mirinda Carfrae and is called ‘The Real Mothers of Triathlon’ Don’t miss it!

you don’t really care | year 4 update

You don’t really care.

You don’t.

You really don’t care about my races and how I do.

I really care.

See, you don’t really care about what place I finish in; or if I win or not.

But I do. I had really high expectations about a triathlon come back and how I’d surprise people.

But no one really seems to care about how I finish or if I win.

And that’s why I love my tribe.

Last year I had a hidden agenda that I wanted to qualify for either the Kona IRONMAN World Championships or the IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships (70.3 is the half IRONMAN distance).

It was an incredibly silly premise. Before the injury, I was a middle-of-the-pack age grouper who took up triathlon in his 30’s.

Last year I was a 40-year-old paraplegic, with barely 6-months of legit training.

Needless to say, one of my biggest lessons in this process has been patience.

This can also be said for the entire journey of life in a wheelchair.

fast forward to today

Today we are … 21 … days from the IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships in Nice, France. We are also 18 days from the 4th Anniversary of my crash.

To recap, 😉
Year 1 we celebrated with a handcycle ride and a massive Chicken Fried Steak.

Year 2 was celebrated with an amazing milkshake.

Year 3 I nommed on Vietnamese Fresh Spring Rolls, which are one of my top 2 foods (🌮 tacos fill out the list).

This year, on the Year 4 anniversary we’ll have just landed in France in preparation for the IRONMAN race. So most likely a crepe or something more Mediterranean French Riviera will definitely be in the works. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

I’m getting a little ahead of myself with writing something on the anniversary of my September 5th crash this year. However, the retrospect begins in the month of August. Primarily because I ride the Marin Century bike ride every year in early August which includes the hill I crashed on.

People ask me what it feels like riding that hill and, like all previous years, I tell them I’ve got no energy on it.

marin century ride recap

When I was first in the hospital at Marin General, I was put in an ICU room with a great view of the hill I crashed on. For the better part of a week, I watched the sunrise and sunset on that hill with no ability to sit up, turn away, or move without assistance. I had a lot of time being confronted with that hill and what it would mean to me.

I realized I don’t mean anything to that hill. It’s been here a lot longer than me; and will be here a lot longer than I will be. So I decided that hill doesn’t mean anything to me.

Ironically, I love to ride it. Descending through the redwoods and into Nicasio is beautiful. It is some of the most beautiful riding in NorCal. It’s fast and in my handcycle, I pass everybody which is a rarity for me.

It also included some riding/climbing I thought I’d never see again, including Marshall Wall and Point Reyes

Big, big shout out to the Challenged Athlete Foundation NorCal Cycling Club and Staci for answering the call to ride with me this year! I couldn’t have ridden by myself and they answered the call on short notice after my buddy Peter came down with a case of a sick newborn. (The baby is all better, just FYI).

I rode the metric century (100 km = 62 miles) that also included 3,300 ft of climb. It’s usually the most climbing I do every year.


This year, it was a litmus test for how I’ll do in this coming IRONMAN 70.3 in France. After swimming 1.2 miles, I’ll have 56 miles of handcycle with 4,400 ft of climb, then a 13.1-mile push run.

Let’s see that again .. 4,400 ft of climb.

Yeah.

Buffered by a swim before and a push run after.

So I train:

There’s nothing glamorous about the pain cave, the 100ºF summer heat of master swims, nor my orange headband.

But hey, you don’t care. (And that’s why I love my tribe).

As long as we’re doing it, that’s what you care about.

#teambalucas does france: fundraise update

We are oh-so-close to completing this crowdfund. 82% there!

The plane tickets are purchased, the hotel booked, the transportation booked, handcycle-fixes and upgrades installed.

Like for most of us, making this ask is really uncomfortable to do. But I’ll be damned if every time this tribe says ‘Don’t be silly’ and willingly gives.

And I can’t tell you how much it helps me combat those inner ‘why not’ voices.

So if you’ve been meaning to, but just got busy, here’s your reminder.

Thank you for caring, even though you don’t 😉

 
 

One last note: post images to the teambalucas 2019 page about the support. Comments about the race below. Thanks!

comments from contributors:

“Because you say, work hard and do. . . . . period”

“Thanks for changing my life by getting me into Tri and being a constant inspiration.”

“Stop being a lazy ass.”

“GO Robby, you inspire me! The Alluv Place is proud to support you in your dreams.”

“So proud of you Rob. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to be a part of your incredible journey.”

“So proud of you, Rob! Admire you so much.”

“Congratulations Rob! I will be in Nice racing too and will keep an eye out on Sunday to cheer you on, reach out of you need anything while there. Congratulations also on Kona, and also passing it up until you are ready.”

“You are an inspiration to all athletes out training for something!”

“Go Rob! You inspire many!”

 
 

One last note: post images to the teambalucas 2019 page about the support. Comments about the race below. Thanks!

2019 IRONMAN 70.3 Lubbock Race Recap

I rarely get what I want…
… when I want it.

I went back and read last year’s recap about this race and I was livid at the end of that race. By ‘end’ I mean when I threw in the towel after the 1.2-mile swim and 56-mile bike. I didn’t even start the 13.1-mile run (push). A friend of mine told me she was really concerned about me mentally the days following, with good cause. It’s tough to put in so much work and sacrifice and not finish the race.

The week leading up to this year’s race, I heard Tony Robbins say on his podcast, ‘Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and they underestimate what they can do in two or three decades.’

And this is 100% my pattern in goal-setting. I rarely get what I want when I want it.

I get it AFTER I want it.

Could be ‘right after’. Could be ‘not soon after’. Could be ‘a long while after’.

If I’d just extend my timeline in goalsetting by 200% I’d probably be a constant, consistent achiever. It’s a testament to me about the zen of persistence. Also, it’s a lesson in being realistic.

Why do I bring it up in this post-race recap?

Because I officially finished my first IRONMAN 70.3. I qualified for the IRONMAN World Championships in Kona, Hawaii.

I GOT my goals for 2018 this past weekend in June of 2019.

I qualified for Kona. And I’m not going.

I started coaching this year with Carlos Moleda (5-time IRONMAN WC Kona Champion) and Dr. Ralf Lindschulten at Nexus Endurance. We started with a very specific and measured analysis of my endurance and fitness.

Using that baseline, we set goals. Better said, I set my goals and they set my timeline.

I flirted with the Olympic path these past 10 months and I’ll talk more about that in another post.

But I decided to put IRONMAN 70.3 Lubbock (formerly Buffalo Springs Lake) on the race schedule for two reasons. (1) it’s a well-supported handcycle-approved IRONMAN and (2) it will give me experience on the course I need to complete to qualify for Kona – which is the ultimate goal.
…and maybe (3) redemption.

‘And if Kona is the ultimate goal, then the timeline is 2020.’, said coach.

I COULD go if I qualify, but I would most likely just have a miserable experience because my swim needs more work. That’s not the type of experience I want to spend time, money, and effort to create.

It was really tough to say, ‘no’ in the moment … but I did.

That opened the door for us to go to the IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships! (this is the ‘half’ IRONMAN distance = 70.3, as opposed to the full distance in Kona = 140.6)

The Race

As for the actual race, everything was different this year.

The temperature was 95°F on the day, versus 103°F last year.
The morning had no wind, versus last year with 20+ mph sustained wind.
There was 2 of us in the handcycle division this year, versus 5 last year.

My buddy John is an amazing sherpa, but my girlfriend Erika is an exceptionally detail-oriented person, not to mention we have more room in the hotel with only one bed. For those of you who haven’t met her, she competed on the UCLA Triathlon Team and so having this sport and general fitness in common is an incredible connection for us. Having her there at every transition was special … not to mention she carried my gear.

Most everything went to plan. Except…

… mile 9 of the bike when my hand pedal came off. All I could think was, “I’m not stopping. I’m not having another DNF.”

So I slammed it back on and made it work so I could keep going. Every now and then it would flick off on a hill or abrupt gear change. I would slam it back on and keep going.

And I did it. I completed all 56 miles of the bike. 47 miles with a loose hand pedal.

Major kudos to Marti and Mike Greer, who put have put on this race for 30 years. They have always been conscious of making sure their race is friendly (note: not easier, just accessible) for handcycle division athletes. Though there was ‘new course’ learnings, they do great by us year after year.

2019 IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships

I secured my spot in the 70.3 World Championships in Nice, France on September 6 & 7.

Continued training ensues.
And once again, I need support.

As you can imagine, the cost is going through the roof of what I can afford alone. I have a new list of needs to make a showing in Nice. There’s continued coaching, equipment maintenance/upgrades (new hand pedal), travel, entry fees, and so on.

I’ve decided to create a crowdfund through this site, using PayPal and Venmo, instead of going through the crowdfunding websites that charge in excess of 8% of the funds raised. After all, website design is what I do for a living.

I’ll be posting updates, tracker, comments, and other info to this page: robbalucas.com/teambalucas2019

How else do I say, ‘I can’t do it without you?’ I hate this process. But it works. And every time this tribe says, ‘It’s okay. We want to support you.’ So here I am again. Can we do this?

 
 

One last note: post images to the teambalucas 2019 page about the support. Comments about the race below. Thanks!

Giant Race 2018

So what you’re saying is we get to start at AT&T Park, push our #racingwheelchairs for a 10k down the waterfront Embarcadero of SF – which is blocked off for us AND we get a police escort – all the way to #Pier29 and back? Yes. In. For sure. What’s that? I’m supposed to cross the finish line inside the ballpark? … Yeah, missed that part.

Thanks #teamCAF Challenged Athletes Foundation // Kelly Brush Foundation // SFPD // SF Giants

Big props to fellow wheelers Steve Lau & Steven Toyoji