10/5 Mon Update
10/5 Mon Update: Moving this week to Santa Clara Valley Medical Center for acute rehab.
We’re just waiting for the stars to align as there’s a number of things that have to happen. I’m bummed it’s far from SF and all my tribe, but it’s hands down the best rehab facility for my injury.
Other than that I’m just hanging out here at UCSF waiting for the call up to Santa Clara. Best estimate ……. midweek?
That will last 4-6 weeks. After that it looks like I’m headed to Fresno for a number of months to do long-term rehab at my parents home.
I got a severe infection yesterday and that sucked. Turns out it was a UTI, except worse. (Yes for all of you that are going to ask: I am drinking cranberry juice ? tho it’s more a preventative measure than a fixer.) I’ll spare the gory details, but I was almost septic and hit a 104.3° temperature, highest my nurse has seen. I actually think it was a good thing, because I’ve had this watermelon baby distention = bloated belly since the beginning. But thru this experience I’ve released a TON of various liquids and the watermelon baby has decreased significantly…finally.
**Just got an ultrasound as I was typing. No blood clots in the legs. Good news! Also, I’m not pregnant.
That’s the latest!
Love ya!
paul joseph skok
I had the honor of staffing a PSI Basic under Paul Skok a number of times in the past decade.
The first time I ever staffed with him, he reared up and asked me with a certain level of frustration and definitely a level of challenge, “WHAT DO YOU STAND FOR? BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I CAN’T TELL.”
Out of context, that probably sounds pretty harsh.
IN context, it was an amazing gift. It was an elder man asking a young man to stand up. Figure out what he’s about and be willing to give everything for it. It’s something that men don’t do enough of today – challenge other men to be better men.
Back then I didn’t have an answer. And it kind of scared me to not have an answer. But I went home and asked myself that question and dug deep. And it took me some time to find an answer I could stand on. But when it came it was really simple.
I stand for my people. My family. My friends.
My Grandfather was a simple man. And he was one of my childhood heros. My family had a small farm in Texas and my Grandfather literally taught me how to shoot a gun, drive a tractor, ride a horse, wrangle the cattle for auction. But one of things that I remember most about my Grandpa is that he just wanted to make you a friend. If he could do something for you, he’d do it. Nothing frustrated him more than when people didn’t want to be friendly.
My Dad is very much the same way. He’s retired, and was a career bartender & owned a restaurant with my brother. If I came home a 2am tonight, my Dad would be up. He’d insist on making me a steak. And of course there’s rice we can heat up too. My Dad just wants to make sure you’re good.
The connection may seem thin at first. It’s because it’s so simple. My Dad, my Grandfather .. they stand for their people. They want to make sure you’re good. And if they can do something for you, they’ll do it.
In my tribe of friends and family – if I can help out, there’s no question in my mind that’ll I’ll do it. Would I give my life for my tribe? Any of them. If I’m going to stand for something in this life – that’s it.
When Paul Joseph Skok reared up at me and said, “What do you stand for?” … that moment is a demarcation in my life timeline. The course of my life changed, the meaning and purpose of my life got a deeper and my actions became more meaningful.
As I lay here in a hospital after this incredible accident, and at this moment unable to walk. I’m surrounded by my tribe who have shown awe-inspiring support for me on a level we’re all amazed by. In my mind, it’s due in no small part to a stand I took awhile ago. Even before some of you and I were friends. I took a stand for you. That’s what I choose my life to be about.
It’s due in no small part to one Paul Joseph Skok. Who scared the shit out of me because I didn’t have an answer to his question.
In subsequent years I staffed for Paul. I looked forward to it. Because I knew if he reared up again, I’d look him square in the face and say, “My Tribe: My Family & My Friends.”
He never did ask me again. He could see the light in me was different. And our relationship man to man changed & evolved.
Paul passed away this week. I know I’m not the only one to have a story like this about Paul.
I thank God for you Paul. This life here, this man, is forever better because you contributed to it.
Tue 9/29 Update
The angiogram showed nothing abnormal. This is good news in that there’s nothing wrong. It’s also the last medical thing we can do.
The basic scenario now is that everything is as it should be in terms of the initial spinal surgery / fusion and its healing. There’s nothing more for Dr’s to do. As for me regaining feeling in my legs and walking, it’s up to this body now to do it’s own thing. It’s up to me to take care of it & stay “strong” mentally. And up to all of us to pray for it and workshop it.
My next step will be an inpatient Physical Therapy Clinic to work on strengthening and skills to operate as I am today. When that will be is most likely this week, but like everything else it’s not a set timetable..
I have to say it so we’re all on the same page: I fully expect to be walking again. I have my eyes on the Half Ironman Triathlon in 2016 that I was training for. Though the other reality of not walking again is out there, it’s not the one I’m spending my energy on creating.
To that end, I do have different and new sensations in my legs everyday. Though I can’t feel someone touch my legs, I feel they’re there, I feel their weight, I get dead leg sensations, things are a happening in this body.
I love you guys!
I couldn’t ask for more support & love than I’m getting everyday.
Grateful isn’t a big enough word for how I feel.
Mon 9/28 Update
Today’s angiogram went smooth. I was swept up around 8am & back in room around 2pm. Groggy and sleeping a lot from anesthesia hangover.
Ironically the amazing Lisa Newton was my actual recovery nurse and I woke up to that familiar Aussie accent. ??
No news on results of angiogram yet.
No visitors tonight (Mon) – I’m just going to sleep.
I’m feeling the love and prayers out there for me. It feels really good in here! ❤
Love you back!